look to the right

See the phoneswarm logo? Clickie. Then callie. Of course, on cells with free long distance is better. Just talked to a woman in Arizona. She was very nice.

if it's not one thing it's another

Our bunny died either last night or this morning. Bah.

On that note, I'm going to go and have breakfast.

meagunn is bizarro cultural ambassador

Some things on a short post...

Was explaining today at Caritas House booth what BiGLTM was to crazy urbanized/Americanized Japanese girl while she told a guy that he didn't need so many condoms just for his right hand... Then talking about cultural differences with my Japanese tutor and telling her about the "o-cha" death metal/pop song... Bowing as I left... Talking then to Sri Lankan desk staff guy about chick peas and vegetables and foreign languages... Earlier to Indian girl about same languages... And handing condoms to Achim, and realizing that cross-culturally, established stereotypes get thrown out the window... Kiddo keeps popping in on the phone and speaking to me in a mash of German and Japanese...

If we were to win the lottery tonight I want to host an exchange student. Might as well. Plus I think I'd set a rather interesting cultural example...

Woo hoo internationalism.

these are strange times

I really don't know what's been going on these past few days, weeks, months. I know where I should be, and that none of this is for fun, but the seeing and the getting there are two entirely different things. I should do all my work and be everywhere I'm supposed to be when I'm supposed to be there. Other than that, not much is asked of me. Why is that so difficult? But that isn't even the pinnacle, the apex...

It seems that some have a drive of sorts, what keeps them going, habitual things done regardless of circumstances. Life just rolls along unabated, effortlessly. I wonder if it's actually as difficult as I see it, inside, for everyone to keep things rolling. Mine is a stutter-stop movement. I've run out of gas and don't know where the nearest station is...

Very little drives me on a daily basis. Sleep, and food, but if I sleep all day, I have no need for food. Cigarettes maybe. Human contact? No. Class obligations? Certainly not. Only the fear of failure keeps me moving occasionally. Otherwise I would be content to sit in my own squalor with nothing but noise and the lack of thought alongside me.

I don't even think much anymore. Funny, that. I wonder where it's all gone. Wait awhile, and I won't wonder anymore. These are indeed strange times...

a sigh of relief

You make me feel like dancin'....gonna dance the night away...

Things are better. Not the same, but better than the past week. Major drama is over, hopefully, and I can return to my dramaless existance. Which, of course, makes me feel like dancin'.

However, apparently there must alwys be some sort of drama present somewhere with me. This is why I usually hate drama so. It's always around. And I don't like dealing with it. I found out yesterday that our neighbors plan imminently on tearing down our house. They've been clearing land in our backyard for their new one. One of the many things I don't understand about this situation is that they plan on selling their old property for the price of their new house. But they told Bunnyman that when they tear down our house, we can live in their old one until it sells. If they plan on buying the new house with their old one's earnings, how will we live in it? At any rate, the whole "we have to move" thing that's been going on for the past year and a half has reared its head again, and this time it's likely not going to go away as this involves the actual destruction of our house. I don't know. We'll have to see how it pans out this time...

kiddo comes through

Kiddo suggested that we take a week off. No communication. Then try to talk about things calmly, face-to-face. Beats getting irrational phone calls that consist of "fuck you!"

Thank you, kiddo. I bow to the relationship advice of a ten-year old.

There's a chance yet.

shellshock

He said he didn't want me in his life anymore. And I expressed remorse. He doesn't buy it. I don't know why. I'm dying. He's really dying. And I don't know what to do.

I hope this isn't another four years down the drain. That'd be almost a decade.

I am eleven years old. And I have no daughter.