survey of boredom and time-wastingness

1. My grandpa once: ate raw chunks of salted hamburger meat. Actually, he did this all the time. Always offered me some, and laughed when I said no. Weird. He also once got a Purple Heart for being shot in the ass in Korea.

2. Never in my life have I: gone hunting.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts but also makes me smile: Bunnyman

4. High School was: an utter waste of time and sanity. I'm trying to think of positive experiences that came from it and I can't think of one, besides learning how to exploit loopholes in systems.

5. When I'm nervous: I hide. I don't get nervous often though.

6. The last time I cried was: a few months ago.

7. My hair is: currently a bit dirty and too long for my tastes. Also remnants of three different colors. This must be fixed.

8. My feet are: very large. They also make me like a weebl-wobble so I don't fall down. Low center of gravity, see.

9. When I was 5: I was a compulsive liar. I also couldn't tell time or tie my shoes, even though I could read quite well.


10. Last Christmas I: went to my Aunt's, sans Bunnyman, then spent a day doing the family rounds.

11. When I turn my head left: I see the radiator, assorted condiments, The Gashlycrumb Tinies, a full ashtray, a window, a fan, and some shoes.

12. When I turn my head right: I see the door, and a large school-related mess.

14. The craziest recent event was: Um... Events that seem crazy at the time never seem so crazy a while afterwards. Though riding the freight elevator in the MSB was cool. As was walking into the back door of U92 and leaving them a whole lot of thumbtacks. I hope they appreciated them.

15. If I was a character on 'Friends' I'd be: I really hate that show. Really, truly.

16. By this time next year: hopefully I'll be preparing to graduate. I'll also probably be going crazy from German research papers. I dread my capstone.

17. I have a hard time understanding: why some people work the way they do. I mean, I can logically come up with reasons why, but that doesn't mean the results make any sense.

18. You know I "like" you if I: uhh, kiss you? Actually, you'd probably never know that unless you made the first move. Even then you still might not know, considering that just because something happens doesn't necessarily mean I "like" you that way.

19. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank would be:The first person? Probably whoever handed me the award. Ha.

20. My ideal breakfast is: I don't really eat breakfast. But lately I've been wanting cereal.

21. If you visit my hometown: you would be indescribably bored, as there's absolutely nothing to do. Maybe we'd get drunk in the woods and then go to Hardee's.

22. Where I plan to visit soon: Home? Um... The last time I went anywhere that would constitute a trip was in October. I haven't been on any sort of vacation in about four years.

23. If you spend the night at my house: we'll clear the clothes off of the Sleepy Couch and you can stay there. It's amazingly comfortable. But you must beware of messes. And there's no food in the house with which to feed you. Now, if it's in the dorm, we'll have to go through a roundabout process of getting you in, and there's really no place for two people to sleep, as the bed's a twin and the floor's quite hard.

24. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: die, I suppose. Really, there's lots worse things I'd do. If you're willing to pay me about $500 I'd even eat it.

25. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: aside from food, an awesome super-soft pink pillow from goodwill (new from target but discounted due to dirt), the kind that has the arms on each side, y'know what i mean?

26. Most recent thing someone else bought you: A video game, Corpse Bride on DVD, a dozen roses and a stuffed elephant from Bunnyman for V Day.

27. My favorite blonde is: Um. Suddenly all hair colours in my mind are not fixed.

28. My favorite redhead is: Once again... Now, I;ve been both, see.

29. And by the way: happy belated valentine's day to all of you, even if you hate it.

30. The last time I was drunk: probably two Thursdays ago. I would have been drunk last weekend, but I was sick, which really amounts to somewhat the same thing.

31. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: Cats. And me.

32. Last night, I: got driven around for a bit by Manhaw, then sat up in my room, talked on the phone, read a book, and was generally boring.

33. There's a girl I know who: tried to have sex with passed-out people at parties. It was sort of an initation ritual for you to wake up drunk with her straddling you. For a while there was a rumor going around that she masturbated with someone's gearshift. I suppose that rumor's still going around.

34. There's a guy I know who: whenever he dated a girl, she announced her lesbianism shortly after they broke up. One of the last actually stranded him in Colorado, and she could never be reached and questioned as to her sexual orientation.

35. A better name for me would be: um, my name's okay I suppose. I do like the name Max, though.

36. My birthday is: about a week from today.

going to mars to meet the president

I don't think it's a good idea to read "Transmetropolitan" and lie down to sleep when you're very likely going to have fever dreams. Even my waking thoughts run a bit like a fever dream. Bunnyman is very likely mad at me but there's not much I can do about it, all I want is to not leave. The cold worms are making their egg sacs in my skin once again and though I'd like company now they talk too damn much. I was thinking that if someone put a hit out on me we could run to Tallahassee and be a political couple. I think they broke in and filled my lungs with legos. A hit would have been easier.

I am amazed at my typing ability. It's hard to breathe and apparently I've ruined someone's plans. Hunger is not an issue. It's the new implants. No, my ravings won't stop them 'cos they're cocky with their pepper spray, but it won't work on legos.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go die now. Ressurrection on Sunday. Bring your friends.

I am staging a coup

Exactly what it says. Yes.

Trying to disappear off the face of the earth doesn't exactly work as well as it used to. Whatever happened to the good ol' days where one could keep their head down to the extent that no one knew they existed? Or when they were noticed, were routinely mistaken for another person entirely? Twelve missed calls later... Yeah. Not working at all.

On another note, people really don't have to give me reasons to do even more research on useless subjects just to expand my knowledge on whatever. I do enough of that kind of stuff on my own without having a similarly useless reason to do it. Now, taking advantage of it is another thing entirely. I should encourage you do take advantage of it, because at the end of the day maybe I'll feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my time. Or something. If you need to know about something but don't want to take the time to know it, ask me and I'll report back in a few days with a load of trivia, and maybe something about earwax. And sea cucumbers. I could hire myself out as a professional expert.

And on yet another note, I'm bored of waiting, and drinking isn't solving the problem. Someone entertain me.

It will be several days before anyone reads this.