So this is where my life is now.

I'm writing this at home, unhooked to the wonders of the intarwub. Just a little lonely 'cos the house is empty. This has caused me to think again, which we all know in this world is just a little dangerous. Thinking is, of course, not encouraged. Unless it's for a class, or some kind of business/money-making exploits.

In the car this evening, I was thinking about what my father said. It was something about him living, literally (as he emphasized), about living his whole life in hospitals. His mother was always sick, and i got exposed to that for the first few years of my life, until she died. That lead me to thinking about where I am now, considering what everyone's been saying about this being Kiddo's first time in the hospital and all, and my own relatively few times admitted. I've been only twice for an extended period of time, and both times my parents were stressed. I understand that feeling now, kids and all, and kind of think everyone should have that. Not that it's good or anything. It's merely a life perspective thing. Sorry. I'm drinking in the house alone, because Bunnyman is staying at the hospital with Kiddo. So many things rush through me...

Like how I have to make a decision. And how I've made the right one this time. And how, hopefully, I'll continue to make the right ones. How we all behave differently when we're totally self-sufficient, and how making other people parts of ourselves changes our very attitude towards life. I understand how the couples I see act the way they do, even when others don't. It's not a simple act of obligation. It's something like breathing; you always do what comes naturally. Someone has come along and modified that part of your brain that tells you to breathe in order to include something else.

There are so many things I used to be. There are likely many things I have yet to become. Smile, remember. I do. Good or bad. I will never forget. And those hours spent in the emergency room two days ago are not unprecedented, and will likely be repeated by millions of parents. Point is though, that I have a family. And that is miles away from where I started this life, in an incubation chamber or an oxygen tent.

I am so grateful for new experience. Life is short.

Maybe I'm greedy, but I want it all before I die.

(Which could be at 30. We always said 30 would be a good year to die. And I have done a banner job so far....)